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How do you spend 24x7 together without driving each other nuts?


17 years of happy marriage 25 years of business partnering

Close to 24x7 time together in the past 16 months Minimum conflict, maximum laughter, and adventure Following social norms isn’t our style. In fact, Gavin proposed 25m underwater ~ not the usual marriage proposal location. Having said this, we do agree with the widely accepted belief that growing together in a marriage is neither easy nor smooth. What we would add is that it has been another type of enjoyable adventure. With purposeful effort, clear communication, patience, and giving our union the best that we can in each moment it has worked out magnificently so far. We often get asked how we spend so much time together and not annoy each other.


Our recipe for success is no different from what can be found in the self-help manuals. Communication, choice, tolerance, and a growth mindset are the four legs of our table.

  1. Communication: Being professional communicators helps in every sphere of our lives ~ marriage, parenting, business, and friendships. We practice what we teach because we know that communicating clearly, calmly, and connectingly is the way to build trust, intimacy, and harmony in relationships. Getting effective communication right is not easy and doesn’t come naturally to all people. There are skills that can be learned and then there is the practice that needs to happen to keep open communication and meaningful dialogue happening. It is a never-ending process of trying to get it right, not being right.

  2. Choice: The conscious choice to stay in connection, especially when there are obstacles, disagreements or wobbles is both hard and rewarding. By always having a positive intention, we choose to avoid blaming, criticising, or withdrawing from each other. We choose to focus on finding solutions, resolving issues, and restoring peace. Our daily choice to cultivate connection strengthens our bond, commitment, and the resilience of our marriage.

  3. Tolerance: Acceptance, recognition, and appreciation of each other's flaws, foibles, and needs as they are, without trying to change anything, helps to avoid arguments, resentments, or frustration. With tolerance comes compromise as sometimes there needs to be one of us giving up something or at least a meeting in the middle, without too much self-sacrifice. Compromise is shared, it is never just one of us compromising and we understand that there needs to be fairness and satisfaction in each choice made. Time and time again we choose to show each other compassion, kindness, care, and gratitude, all of which increase the love, respect, and happiness in our marriage.

  4. Growth Mindset: By learning from, supporting, and challenging each other, we know that we’re continuously growing as individuals and as a couple. Without personal growth, our relationship would be stagnant. We know that we can discover new aspects of ourselves, develop new skills, and achieve both our separate and relationship goals through a growth mindset. It is not only helpful in business, it helps us enhance our happiness, and satisfaction in life.

Happy Wedding Anniversary 7 t-shirts each! @ingridlotze @gavinmoffat - Suitcase only fits 7t-shirts each



 
 
 

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